Sunday, 31 July 2011


Whilst eating breakfast this morning I spontaneously decided to google the term Vajazzle. I kept hearing the word bandied around and I was just, well curious. So then, it's a form decorative art for those secret special lady parts, which I'd kind of half guessed. I mean, the Vaj bit is something of a giveaway, isn't it? Anyway there I am surfing and before I know it I'm wondering whether there's a male equivalent? Pejazzling, perhaps? 
Exactly how would that work? At least the female anatomy is fairly elegant and refined, but our landing gear? Just how on earth would anybody go about making that look classy or refined? I mean, it's a knob for goodness sake! It serves some important functions, but I'm not entirely sure I could ever succumb to the urge to decorate it. Besides, I'm not from Essex.
So anyway, it appears that there are numerous ways in which a female can spruce up her furry friend, and I suppose its up to you what you do with Valerie Vagina. If I were a women I'd definitely want built in Wi-Fi, and possibly DAB radio, but perhaps I'm missing the point? It's meant to be a statement, isn't it? A form of artistic expression, as I'm lead to believe. Am I correct in thinking one can even get a glow in the dark solution or am I at a misapprehension? As a male I'd certainly welcome clear directions. I wonder, do they set off alarms in airports? And what happens if things come loose during the heights of passion? What happens if I end up with a nasty laceration? Exactly how am I meant to explain that one to the triage nurse in A&E? I have visions of a stone faced matron raising a solitary eyebrow, although I expect I'm over reacting. That said, what happens if the man inadvertently chokes on a mouthful of precious stones whilst visiting that secret special lady place? How's that gonna' look on the death certificate? And let's not even talk about what goes on the tombstone.
Perhaps I worry too much? I mean, it's just art at the end of the day. If you really want to Tarmac your fanny then I'm not about to stop you. Just be careful that those expensive gems don't end up where the sun doesn't shine!

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