Was Jimmy Saville A Force For Good?

If you want to have a really interesting moral discussion, ask people to consider the following; “Was Jimmy Saville a force for good in the universe?” Your gut reaction will be to say no. To look in bewilderment at the person who dares to even raise the possibility. He was a vile predator who bought misery to his victims and left his survivors emotionally scarred and immiserated. His behaviour was allowed to go unchecked and unchallenged for years, largely due to the moral cowardice of those whom should have been braver. People suffered. People are still suffering. His legacy is stained and corrupted beyond salvation. Case closed, right? Not quite, as it turns out. Only you have to be able to see beyond what your raw emotions are telling you. First, some facts. Over the course of his life Saville raised in excess of £40 million for charitable causes. The National Spinal Injuries unit in Stoke Mandeville in Buckinghamshire was a frequent beneficiary of his charitable work. And elsewhere other institutions reaped the fruits of his labour. Over the course of decades thousands of people have been helped. Lives have been restored. Hopes raised. In short, if you were fortunate enough to never have met the vile creature and yet benefitted from his works, one might conclude that his existence was, if viewed in purely remote terms, a positive thing. Now your gut instinct is still feeling a bit queasy as you even contemplate this, and that’s entirely normal. Only a monster would not be disgusted by his antics. Yet the point remains, if viewed starkly from a purely cost / benefit analysis, the question of whether he was a force for good is not as easy to resolve as we might hope. And this is the way with a whole raft of vexing moral questions. Our raw emotions tell us one thing whilst our searing rationality tells us something else. We gravitate towards the simplistic, and let’s be honest, it is much easier just to ignore the whole moral ledger aspect. And that’s what makes me drawn to these kind of conundrums. The mischief of even daring to consider something that differs to what we feel we are required to feel. Should and ought must always be viewed with a degree of suspicion, by the way. This is the gateway to herd mentality, so be on your guard. But what do I think about Saville? He repulses me in every conceivable way. Yet so does the behaviour of so many who failed to act when the red flags were so evident. We’re all guilty of cowardice from time to time, but in this instance the cost of our hesitance was so steep and so profound that many should be hanging heads in shame. And yet, reflect again on all those positively impacted by the life of this creature. The money raised from his marathons, his relentless fundraising. I’m inclined to think he was likely compensating for the dark shadow within him, but whether we like it or not sometimes we find ourselves in odd moral territory. I’d argue that the life of Mr Saville is exhibit “A” in this regard.

You Have No Idea How Uninterested I Am

Perhaps its my age. I mean, I'm 50 soon. But I think I missed the memo where it says all heterosexual men are automatically interested in and drawn to women. I'm not. I mean I'm really not. In the nicest possible sense I find almost all of you entirely uninteresting. I'm more likely to be thinking about a peice of tech, or a place I want to visit, or having a beef toastie. You take up literally none of my waking hours. Thing is, according to some that's all men think about. All we obsess about. We spend every waking minute working out how we're going to find our way into your knickers. Now I'm sure your knickers are expensive and lovely, but again I have zero interest in plotting some devious path into them. You don't interest me. Nothing about you interests me. I've more compelling things on my mind. Now I expect there's a sub section of guys who do stray into those creepier realms of behaviour. Who do letch, who do objectify, and who does cause you discomfort. Me, I'm almost certainly thinking about something random I just watched on Youtube, or an issue in the news, or where I can get the best broadband deal. Of course it helps to be married, but to be honest I'd be absolutely the same if I were single. The worlds too fascinating. There's too much going on. And the truth of it is that I'm such a hermit in waiting that sometimes I don't even want to be married. I want my own bachelor pad and freedom to do what I want when I want. Come and go when I please. Not have to worry about someone's else wellbeing, or what my kids are going to do when they enter adulthood. I have a selfish, entirely unattractive seam that finds that really very compelling. I don't need anyone. I don't need a person to support me emotionally or keep me entertained or fill some gap in my life. There are no gaps to fill. Now I get that all this must sound really cold and perhaps harsh, but one of the promises I made when I started blogging was that it was going to reflect me in real time. Which is to say I may have softened by tomorrow. I'm fickle like that. When I read through some of the blogs I wrote several years ago it was mainly rage and resentment of my former Christian faith. It was ugly. It was erratic. It was unkind. I don't hide from where I'm at and I've no desire to create an image of me that doesn't reflect who I am. I'm a lot of different things. It's not always fully coherent. I often make little sense. I never claimed to. Sometimes I write because it get's everything out. It's like opening a vent from my psyche. Well today it's the version of Rob that isn't playing by the rules. It's me firing off. Me amplified. The bear with the sore head version. Anyway, I've done what I always do which is completely jump off the topic that I began writing about. That's my life in microcosm. I'm done here.

What We Can Do About The Girl Who Never Came Home.

It's everywhere. It should be. And the same old questions have re-surfaced. I don't need to go into detail about Sarah Everard, but I am going to give one man's perspective on some possible solutions. Society is a big ship, and like any large vessel it can take a while to turn. Inappropriate male behaviour towards women crosses cultures and is no respecter of skin or race or geography. Now whilst I think there have been improvements one of the main things we can do is ensure that bad behaviour is stigmatised. Run the following though experiment for me; bring to mind an example of where society has ceased to endorse a particular behaviour and now reviles it. For my example I'm going with drink driving. Back in the 60's and 70's it was not at all uncommon. I remember my Dad doing it. But through a process of stigmatisation of the behaviour we've reached a point where no sane person get's up in the morning and say's, "I really admire people who drive when pissed". So society can change, but it requires sufficient momentum and willpower and resilience. I'm going to suggest that "handsy" behaviour and disrespect of women needs to be given the same treatment. Make it so unacceptable that there's an instinctive hesitance that arises in each person who's tempted. But one word of caution; it needs to be done without so disempowering men that it creates an under current of hostility. And that won't be easy. Right now, and perhaps rightly men are being portrayed as the villians of the peace. We generally are, and it is the responsibility of every mother and father and mentor to create a circle of virtue whereby we're forging better men. We need to realign masculinity with its best qualities. We all know a good man when we see one. They don't lack masculinity and don't seek to conceal it, but they are considered and smart and able to control those base impulses. For me real masculinity is strength under control, strength smartly deployed. Self awareness and awareness of where other's might be on the map. Only here's where I'm going to get a bit controversial. Women can really help out in this. By demanding better, by making very clear what their expectations are. It isn't your responsibility but you can play a part. Mother's teach your son's. Sister's inspire your brother's. And as for us guys, let's ensure we're all being accountable to each other. When you speak about a female be respectful. If you've spent any time around me you may notice that you won't ever hear me speak about Joy in a negative way. I simply don't think it's appropriate to speak adversely about my wife as I consider this disrespectful. Any issues I have are not for public consumption. Now if I'm being honest we are never going to rid the world of the kind of men that make our skin crawl. The kind that have no self awareness, that just haven't a clue how to be around the opposite sex. Let's be honest about this. But let's be hopeful too. Things can improve. Things need to. I've felt uncomfortable reading how so many women feel they have to hold their keys, pretend they are talking on the phone, and all the other self preservation behaviours when alone in public spaces. It makes me sick to my stomach. I tend to be quite unaware of who is around me when I'm out and about, but on the back of this I've resolved to ensure I'm giving females plenty of space. If I see one ahead I'm going to slow up so they know I'm not some jackass creeping up on them. That's a small price to pay. And if you're a women and you are spending time around me you can be quite sure you have nothing to fear.