A Sermon By The Right Reverend Rob Barnes (Non Expert On Just About Everything)

I'm not a Reverend. I expect you've noticed. I mean can you imagine! Nah, I'm just a fella who see's the world through his own lens and who's reached the point where he's happy enough (foolish enough) to share his musings with other's. As I write this it 0525 in the morning and I woke up thinking about young women. I my God that sounds soooo creepy. Let me rephrase; I woke up thinking about how this world has become a really tough place for many of them. I work with a lot of incredibly capable and talented young souls, and I'm consistently in awe of just how smart and hard working they are. Yet I've also noticed that a fair few, beneath the surface, seem to be carrying some inner sadness. Now I could be wrong on so many levels about this, but I think the way the world is today makes it really hard for a young women to find peace and contentment, and I think there are several reasons for that. I'm only going to focus on one today, though, because I suspect that if they could crack this nut then so much more would fall into place. So I'm just going to come out and say it; I think you need to get better at loving yourself. Better at being less judgemental about how you look, what you say, what you've done or not done. Better at not comparing yourself against all those either bright young things out there. You seem to find it so hard to find the good in yourself and you measure yourself against impossible standards. To be sure, there will always be someone out there more beautiful and clever and quick witted, but that doesn't mean you're not awesome. You really need to see the epic in yourself, to appreciate your own intrinsic self worth. And this has to be an inside job. No amount of compliments or affirmation or encouragement from other's is going to give you that, although of course it's nice to be on the end of these things. But YOU need to learn to love YOU. You need to understand just what a force of nature you are. What you bring to the world. I think I know a little about what makes an amazing women because I'm married to one. And this much I know, there is so much to be gained by finding a place where you learn to cherish yourselves. God, as I write this I'm so conscious of not wanting to preach, hence the self mocking title. It's just sometimes I can look at a person and I can see their inner sadness. And it's often those that on the surface would appear to have it all. Beautiful, clever, kind and empathic women. You judge yourself so harshly. You seem to hold yourself in such low regard. I really think you need to learn not to, and to be less hasty to self convict. Now I know there's not much point in me telling you to be less physically self conscious but its me so I'm going to do it anyway. You're cool, OK? Bloody great, actually. And you need not apologise to the world for who you are. Oh heck I'm bound to get flack for even going here but in a world that's so full of judgement, the art of self appreciation has never been more important. Doesn't matter how many Instagram likes you get, or how frequently people swipe left or right or whatever the fuck they do on internet dating sites. No amount of praise from the outside is going to bring you peace unless you can learn to like yourself. So please be gentler with you. Be kinder with you. Be better at meeting your own needs and recognising when you're not doing that. One of the most attractive qualities in a well balanced women is when they reach this apex. It actually applies to guys too, although as one of those lesser creatures I think we're probably better at thinking less and just going with it. So all this is really to do no more than suggest, to implore, that it is absolutely fine to be you. In fact, push the boat out, learn to cherish your feminine power and wiles and poise and intellect. It's an absolute force of nature. And one more thing; we live in a world where we spend so much time "Doing" and not enough time "Being". Don't underestimate the power of "Being", those moments when you stop and pause and take it all in. And once you've surfaced for breath keep being kind to yourself. Lavish upon your own wellbeing, and make it one of those good kind of habits that you form. You're cool, remember? More than cool, actually. Now bugger off and stop reading this tripe. . . .

Swinging Both Ways

Nope. I haven't just come out as Bisexual, so sorry to disappoint. The title actually refers to my inability to side with any one tribe or ideology. It refers to my love of disagreement, my desire to get down and dirty with difficult subjects. Whilst I never go out of my way to offend I appreciate that sometimes it might happen. I'm not sorry. If people had the courage to disagree more, and did it from a place of mutual respect then as a society we'd be so much further down the road. But no, we seem to prefer name calling, dividing ourselves into tribes and isolating ourselves from opinions that cause us discomfort. How are you expecting to learn anything if you take that approach? Doesn't that make you little better than the canary that remains in the cage when the door is open, too afraid the cats might get you? Newsflash, you can fly little bird. The cats cannot get you when you are soaring. And you can always return to your cage at the end of day. But why would you want to? There's so much to experience, to question, to soak in. I'm a wiser person because I have, for many years now, actually gone to uncomfortable places. I'm the better informed for it. So to those of you who struggle to step out of your comfort zone, expect to be taken apart when you come up against somebody with real knowledge. There's always somebody out there smarter, quicker, more capable. But here's the thing, you can still do you. You don't have to change, but it's probably best that you're open to new experience. And don't get too comfortable or obsessed by the need to be popular because she's a fickle mistress. It's like the slightly obsessive partner who's always judging everything you do, which is to say that its a battle you could never win and probably not one worth fighting. It's entirely possible to be unique and true to who you are without having to protect what you already have. So get out there, be open to conflict of the good kind. The kind which leaves you with an expanded mind, a wider lens, a richer suite of possibilities. You can have your cake whilst also taking a bite from everybody else's.