Wednesday 7 October 2020

The Superpower Within Us All

It isn't X-ray vision, or laser bolts from the eyes. Or Strength, or flight, or any of those things that the Marvel Cinematic Universe would have you believe. It's actually forgiveness. You're possibly wondering where I'm going with this, but bare with me. It seems to me that today we're so very quick to cast judgement. Quicker still to condemn. It's easy and it has an immediacy to it, but it's so hugely destructive. For a moment I'd like you to close your eyes and bring to mind the person in the world with whom you have the most issues. Perhaps they have wronged you, hurt you, humilated and discarded you? The wound runs deep and it has been carved into your soul. You may find yourself thinking about them and at once a whole raft of negativity comes along for the ride. Or perhaps it isn't a person but rather something within the world that causes you so much inner turmoil? Something that grates on you? Gives an instictive feeling of despisal. A political party? Climate Change? Negativity towards something dear to you? The subject of the hatred is not the issue, but the cost and consequence to you is. You may spend years unable to shirk the hate and revulsion, clinging on to it, feeling it spike whenever a name is mentioned or an issue raised in the news. Its like a trigger. Those same old inner sensations cascade in and sometimes stay with you for the rest of the day. I'm going to ask you to ask yourself a simple question. How's that working out for you? Does it give you peace? Does it empower you? Get you through the day? If you answered yes to any of those I'm going to suggest you're not in a good place. Whilst hard, letting go of a grievance is essential if you want to move on. Sure you can carry it through your life, but it's an extra weight that you don't have to. I know what you're thinking right now. Condescending bastard. Who is he to preach? If that's your angle you should stop reading because there's nothing here for you. I'm appealing to those who have reached the point where they know, deep down, that the time has come to change. That restlessness you feel, the disquiet; it's time to shed that skin. Assuming you're still with me then the next obvious question is how the hell do I clear that hurdle? That's fair enough. And the honest answer is that you choose to. I mean every meaningful life change starts with a choice, doesn't it? I'm going to quit the drink. I'm going to stop letting that fear cripple me. I'm not going to let that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend use me or tacitly control me any more. You have to choose, because that's when you start to weild the power. The rest, for me at least is self awareness. I can say with some confidence that I have no hatred for anybody. There are people I choose to limit my interaction with, but even then I bare no malice. Those people who've left scars on me are just people afterall. Got their own issues, their own grievances. Oddly, those same grievances are often the cause of behaviour that alienates and disempowers them, too. No mystery to that really, I suppose. All I'm really saying here is that when you choose the path of forgiveness the person you liberate above all other's is you. You've lessened your own burden. You are free to fill that space with something better, something positive, something empowering. And know this, none of us have any real control over what other's say or do. You can only moderate your own responses, so do that. And when you notice those negative feelings rising, or the same old sense of loathing, allow a momemnt to acknowledge it, let it surface but then make a choice to move on. That way you haven't denied the reality of the pain, but you have taken mastery over it and put it in its place. You will have to choose to do this every time, and it may take awhile, but I suspect you will begin to notice that at some point when these sensations arise they don't carry quite the same weight. The discomfort is not as great, the duration reduced. It's all a process and there's no magic bullet. I can only suggest that you test this thesis and see if there's anything there for you. None of what I've said here is revolutionary. Great philosophers have been pressing this point for millenia, long before the likes of Jesus or others. So that's it really. That's the super power. You might be venturing a sigh of disappointment that I couldn't muster anything more immediate. Know what, perhaps is isn't even the forgiveness itself that it the real power? Perhaps it is, when all is said and done, merely the simple choice. . . .