Straight Toes

It's an odd title for a blog, I know. Its just that I was having breakfast in the garden this morning, bare foot and enjoying the sunshine, when I looked down at my own feet. My toes are quite straight, in fairly good order, with no obvious defect. The relevance of this is only when I compare my feet to those of my father, whom passed away in 2007. His toes were badly bent, scrunched right over to such an extent that in order to have straightened them he would have had to have each individual toe broken and reset in the correct alignment. The reason for this is that he was raised in abject poverty, having to wear hand me down shoes, one of several children born to blue collar working class stock whom lived in the North Marston, Oving area of Buckinghamshire. Country folk, poor, having to scratch around and make do for everything. Me being me, upon reflecting on this I decided to get irritated about the whole concept of straight white privilege, this woke term thrown around by social justice warriors. They hurl it like chimps hurl excrement in the direction of anybody whom happens to be straight and white. I wonder what these fools would have made of my father whom ticked both those boxes? Could they honestly say his upbringing ascribed him privilege? I'd have liked to see them try. No, he had to fight, he had to toil, he had to do the work of an honest man for long hours as he raised his young family. His sweat ensured we never had to wear hand me down shoes, or miss a meal, or want for anything. Hard work, long hours, for year upon year, creating a painting and decorating business that was well known in the local area. He never had to advertise, people just knew who to call, a bit like the Ghostbusters. He was as far removed from privilege as it was possible to be, and his work ethic was a thing he passed on to me. I'm proud to work like a trojan, proud that I support my family, pay my taxes, do my bit for society. Does that make me privileged? Perhaps it just makes me an honest guy who wants to live his life in the right way. I don't like being placed in a box of any kind, or labelled, or told that I am this thing or that thing. I'm my own thing, and so are you. I wonder why we are so keen to do this? You know what, I've no idea why I started to write this; it was just the image of my fathers deformed toes in contrast with my British standard one's. It's an odd thing to reflect upon perhaps, but as we approach 12 years since his passing I remain grateful for the foundations he laid for me. I'm not melancholy about his death; death happens and it's a part of our life cycle. He lived his life and now he's gone, creating a space for someone else. That's the gig.

Weaponized Stupidity

We've turned stupidity into a potential weapon of mass destruction. Sometimes I think on purpose. And it gets to me more and more. Whether it's Americans in denial about Gun laws, or Trump allowing Mining conglomerates to ravage pristine Alaskan Wilderness, or our current Prime Minister taking us towards the "No Deal" abyss, it all amounts to the same thing. But it appears rampant throughout all of society, and it seems to find new manifestations as each dawn breaks. And it got me thinking about how I have come to identify the signs of ignorance in others. There's a few markers I'd like to share as they may help you in your interactions. A real red flag for me is when a person seems able to speak only of themselves, and to show no interest in the lives of others. You can probably picture someone you know, perhaps recall a specific example. The presence of two ears and one mouth is instructive here, and my advice to anybody would be to use them proportionally. On a simple level, investing a few moments in listening to others is just plain respectful, and it shows you have an interest in what is happening in their lives. If this isn't already obvious to you then perhaps you might just be one of those people to talk too much and don't listen enough. Another real trigger for me is when a person cannot see beyond their biases or deeply held beliefs and refuse to interact with ideas that challenge their way of thinking. Look no further than religion if you want to see this one at full throttle. I cannot tell you how many Christians I have met that just refuse to countenance that their view of the world is built on a fiction. I actually suspect that many know the game is up but just cannot take that step towards an honest appraisal of how the world really is. Political ideology is another classic example, the whole Left verses Right thing. The most extreme voices appear to make the most noise and get the most attention, drowning out all the sensible and reasonable one's. I refer you to the talk less, listen more principle here. It will get you a long way. Now we all make mistakes, and we always will, and we have to be accepting of this. But stupidity is failing to learn from each wrong turn, because the person that cripples most will be you. I'd suggest that viewing failure as a gift is helpful here. Use it as a launchpad to doing better, to thinking more clearly, and recognise that throughout your life there will be times when we just have to deal with the fact that we were wrong. The late and undoubtedly great Christopher Hitchens often noted that the wiser he became, the more acutely aware he also became of his own ignorance. What a wonderful, healthy, life affirming way seeing the world. That's humility. That's what I aspire to. There's so much I'm ignorant of, so many stones I have not upturned. And I'm desperate to live in a world where we all learn to think just a bit more clearly, to see beyond ourselves and accept that we are part of an incredible wider narrative. I'm sad that we now live in a world where we have weaponized stupidity, where it is almost seen as a virtue rather than something to be overcome. Perhaps we just need to step away from our own self interest, our own corners of bias, accepting that there's too much stupid in the world and we need to do something to reduce this tragic arrears.

Still A Bit Of A Tosser. . . .

Oh boy, I'm gonna' be rusty. Haven't blogged this year. Some of you may have noticed that I disappeared from social media for an extended period. A deliberate choice, something I needed to do. Step back, extricate, call it whatever you want. There's no real reason for me to return either. My life is ticking along very nicely. I am the parent of adult daughter as of June 11th this year. I've also been married to Joy for 21 years as of 23rd May. These are milestones I'm proud of, but the work isn't done. I've more to learn, more errors in my thinking to correct. More authenticity to aspire to. My life, just like your own, is a perpetual motion machine, an ever changing and fluctuating thing that we should never take for granted. And I mean never. This was bought into stark relief last December when Dawn Turvey died suddenly, knocking a lot of us sideways. She was a true original and never afraid to be different. I had some cracking conversations with her down the years, mostly at work functions. Covered religion as we were both raving atheists, and also things such as sexuality, which we nailed during a hilarious 2 hour conversation at a Carribean restaurant in Milton Keynes. Heaven knows what those around us were thinking; I knew several were attuned. They could have commented at any point but I expect they were too self conscious, which is not an affliction either Dawn nor I suffered from. Just as an aside, I really haven't changed a great deal. I still find most of the people I meet tedious and uninteresting, but that's OK because those offended by that are just the kind of people I don't want to be bothered with anyway. Win, win, as the mantra goes. And for those that know me they'll just roll their eyes at my propensity to come straight out with this kind of thing. That's probably why they put up with me. So here's the deal; feel free to take as much offence as you can muster, or just just laugh at my candour, or despise it. Matters not, in the greater scheme. We're all going the way of the Dodo some day so we may as well just have a jolly high time of it in the interim. My new favourite quote is that nobody, when on their death bed, will look up and say, "I wish I'd eaten fewer pub lunches". You could revise that in any number of ways, but the essence is the same. "Are you going to regret having too much wildly creative sex?" or denying aspects of your psyche because society indicates you should? Pro tip; don't do that. Don't be robbed of who you truly are by some unseen societal plumb line. Be that person you've always wanted to. Try to bring some happiness into the lives of others along the way. Spend time with those who matter, and less with those who do not. Be you. Be unbridled. Explore what's under the hood, seek to live in a way that's authentic and genuine and real. I'm not preaching, by the way. I don't think I'd make a very good preacher. I like reality just a little too much.
So to conclude, I'm back. And I'm still a bit of a tosser. . .