Friday 22 July 2011

Men Suffer From PMT Too

We really do. Oh boy, do we. Of course, we don't get the physical symptoms, but if within a light year or two of a female we do get the emotional one's.
It's the small things, a disapproving glance, an agitated shrug. In our home we've coined the phrase, "Cup down day", which means that even the smallest transgression can and will cause offense. Perhaps a drawer has been left partially open? Or a mug placed down on the table with a slightly louder bump, usually inaudible to the human ear. And then there's the tiny things that, on any other day would go under the radar. Did you really need to burst into tears because you dropped a tea towel? Apparently yes. It seems to me that PMT can warp and subvert any perspective. For instance, I can be behaving in what I consider to be a perfectly normal manner, yet be perceived as a combination of Neanderthal and Darth Vader. I don't even have to do anything particularly different to earn this dubious accolade. 
So what's it like in your house, boys? How do you cope with the monthly cycle? If you have any strategies other than keeping mouths closed, heads bowed, and hiding any and all sharp implements then I'm all ears. 
If you have daughters in the house, the good news is that all the females in the home tend to synchronize, or so I'm told. I cannot tell you just how enthused I am at this prospect. I'm already making contingency plans, ideas ranging from buying better headphones to building a full size nuclear shelter beneath the property. I do try to be empathic, I really do. It's just that I don't have those, err, bits. And I'm not subject to those hormones. The best I can do is try not to bite, to be as emotionally supportive as I can muster (Which isn't much, admittedly) and give you the time to deal with it. My problem is that I'm a bit like my Dad. I can do practical love, but I'm not Mr Pink & Fluffy when it comes to the emotional stuff. And even when I try I always feel like I'm faking it just a bit. I wish there was a spray that men could buy for these days in the month, something like "Acme PMT repellent?". Or failing that perhaps I could borrow Harry Potters invisibility cloak? Something, anything to make the whole process just a bit less like a Mexican standoff?Oh well, on the plus side at least I'm not subject to the physical symptoms. I'll pass on the pains and the feeling that everything wants to drop out. The fatigue doesn't sound a whole lot of fun either. Perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut and try the empathy thing one more time?

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