It Probably Won't But It Really Could

The title basically covers my whole strategy towards Covid 19. I am in my late 40’s male, and with no underlying health conditions. So if I become one of the many to acquire our recently discovered pathogen there’s a good chance I would get through. But, and here’s the thing, the virus is already known to have mutated over 30 different times since it came to our attention, which makes me realise if I take anything for granted I would be a fool. Yet, we’ve all seen people doing just that. Have you seen these Stateside protests over the infringement of civil liberties? Traffic jamming highways and the demands that the lockdown be lifted? Isn’t it odd that many of those waving placards and leaning out of cars are chronically obese and likely to have a variety of related health conditions? You’d kind of think they would be erring on the side of caution? But no, freedom trumps all. Freedom at any cost.

Any cost? You sure about that, buddy? And cost to who? Yourself, the others you may infect? Surely there is a calculus we are required to make during these times? We’re all walking a road we’ve not had to before. It’s sometimes weird, frequently surreal, and the target keeps moving. And we’re also a bit quick to be critical of the experts, the scientists who are doing, as far as I can tell, the best they can to manage the variables in play here. Now you know me well enough to know that I’m no sheep. I can kick up a stink with the best of them. But you’ll notice I’ve fallen in line to a disturbing degree here. It’s because this isn’t just my battle to lose. If I fuck things up there’s a potential cost to family, to colleagues, to people I may never meet. Now, more than ever before we have to think beyond ourselves. We have to make sacrifices based on the greater good, on limiting the potential harm. Your enemy is my enemy, and it has crossed social and political divides in a way nothing else ever has. So sure, we can bitch about our leaders, about the lack of this or the failure to foresee that. I hear you, but I think that a gentleness and a willingness to take, dare I suggest it, a herd approach, might serve everybody’s interest right now?

On a personal level I’m doing fine. I have not missed a day’s work, and I appreciate how fortunate that makes me. I have not been fired, furloughed, or placed on reserve. I remain glad. I’m better off in the midst of the shit storm rather than chirping away at the edges. And when this is all done, and it will be at some point in the future, perhaps we can remember what we learned? That kindness trumps cruelty, compassion trumps contempt. That essential workers don’t work in the stock exchange or media studies, but in Supermarkets and hospitals. They drive vans, they deliver essentials to vulnerable people, or patrol the streets to ensure we’re all being as wise as we can be. One thing I’m really glad of is that I get to go home to my wife and my two daughters, and I value that all the more in the knowledge that many are currently alone and having to be apart from the things that make them whole. To you guys just know that I am thinking of you. I know it’s hard. Everything we took for granted has been upended, and we’re all having to walk a different way. This time will pass, the morning will come, and we will emerge changed and, perhaps, a little more whole? Perhaps if nothing else, we will be able to recalibrate our minds and learn to truly appreciate the fundamentals; relationship, connection, interaction.

Keep on trucking Earthlings. We’re going to be OK.

A World Gone Mute

It is ten PM. Joy and I have just finished watching the The Good Fight on Netflix. I have gone outside to let the dog out. On a normal night I would hear a lot of ambient sound. Vehicles passing on the main road, perhaps some raised voices, or the sound of an aircraft overhead. Tonight there was nothing. A wall of silence, punctuated by a single vehicle engine towards the end. The dog dutifully squeezed out a wee then trots back inside and awaits its end of day treat. Perhaps I should allow myself a similar goody whenever I've urinated? I mean fairs fair?. I digress. Next thing I head upstairs to say goodnight to the offspring. Holly is already fast asleep so I do not trouble her. Lowenna, or Leo as she likes to be called these days is still sat in bed with her laptop and phone illuminating her features. Teenage is as teenage does. I tell them about the silence, and true to form she's up and scooting downstairs to experience the moment. So we both head out into the garden, this time leaving the mutt indoors. Again there is a deathly quiet, although not total this time. We are stood beside each other, and I point out that it is important to remember that we are living through history. One day she may tell her kids, perhaps her Grandchildren about this. I think she understood. I wonder what the younger generation is really making of these times? As a parent I am being largely fact based. In all likelihood a close encounter with Covid 19 would be a transitory discomfort for them, although I am aware there have been instances where the thing has been a wrecking ball to persons with no Preexisting conditions. This remains one of the great unknowns isn't it? We know what it can do, but it is keeping its list of future victims close to its chest. I ask myself how to be in light of this? Authentic is the voice that comes back. Its all I know. Impart the facts, do not panic, and be smart. That should be a universal life lesson. So as the day concludes I check the news, watch some inane Facebook video's, and ponder the conclusion of another day in Lock-down land. I'm a key worker so have more freedom than many. I can turn journey's home into extended jaunts that take in some of the local countryside. I can park up somewhere remote, get out and listen to the sounds of nature for a few minutes. I'm good with solitude. It is a place of sanctuary for me. Give me the birds and the trees and the vastness of a big sky overhead. It doesn't have to be blue. Once again I'm reminded that I am a man of extremes in so many ways. Happy in nature, happy when I'm knee deep in tech. I'm in love with silence, but also perfectly at ease in a Control Room when it all goes tits up. When this is all done and dusted, and assuming we return to some degree of normality I wonder whether we, as a society, will take the positives from this? Can we continue in this vein? Can we keep asking ourselves what we can contribute rather than what we can claim? We are seeing this day in, day out. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could return to those halcyon days when that's just who we are? I dislike a society focused on self preservation. Whenever I see an Instagram selfie I am struck not by the beauty of the person who is posing, but rather the ugliness of the need to preen and posture. It is not an individual critique as such, but for me it speaks into an aspect of our nature that I dislike. Notice me, approve of me. Tell me how beautiful you think I am. I'm afraid I see no beauty in that.

The Better Angels Of Our Nature

So here I am. Day one of seven on my latest round of shifts. A long haul of earlies, late shifts, and nights to look forward to. You might assume that things are busier here, but actually no. Far from it. It is deathly. We’ve had to strip things back to the bare bones to ensure officers are in the right places and that we can eek out the resources we have left. Social distancing is the new normal in the Control Room, with everybody being professional and good humoured. I overhear one or two obsessing about Covid 19, one young girl in particular who’s name I won’t mention. Every 3rd word that leaves her mouth is Corona. Bit tedious, but I suppose I understand. None of us have walked this road before, and we’re all kind of feeling our way through it. I can see from the media there have been some missteps in respect of the new Police powers. If you weren’t expecting this then you are just a tad naïve. The thing to bear in mind about those of us who fall under the umbrella term of Key Worker is that we are just the same as you. No special abilities, no unseen strength or wisdom. We’re just part of a collective trying to make things a bit easier for the wider public during this unique period in our history. Be under no illusion that we are at war. It’s a bit of a shock that the enemy isn’t pointing assault weapons or dropping large explosives on us, although I have heard that an X-ray of a late stage Covid 19 patient is not similar to having a bomb go off in your lungs. We have no special powers to assist us here. In fact the new currency, the thing of real value is good old fashioned common sense. Diligence. Calm. We’re actually going to have to reign ourselves in if we want to fast track through this. If we all play nice, all observe the guidance, then perhaps we may see a light at the end of the tunnel. It used to be a joke that staying in was the new going out. Oh the things we took for granted. I fully expect that our household will go a bit stir crazy at some point, although the dog is positively serene. Always somebody to snuggle beside. For my part, I’ve stopped feeling anxious. I’m in focus mode know. I know what has to be done so that is what I will do. We know what the enemy is, and we know how to beat it. We have to bore it to death, cut off its supply chain. Starve it. That’s how we overcome. Not by some heroic individual act, but with a collective willpower not seen for many a generation. It occurs to me that when it really matters we denizens of this emerald isle are more than capable of getting our heads down and getting on with it. And the humour that I’ve encountered during recent weeks has been a wonder to me. My favourite still concerns the North of England changing its emergency status to “Put Kettle On”. I hear the next phase is “Open digestives, love”, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. Anyway, well done to all of you are doing the right thing, resisting the conspiracy theories. An even bigger thanks to those who are looking out for other’s. Checking on neighbours, showing everybody a bit of extra kindness. A thousand little kindnesses will make a world of difference when times are hard, but we have to choose to be kind. We have to resist the urge to lash out. I don’t know whether you have heard the phrase “A rising tide lifts all boats.” . There is a truth to this notion. Look outward, upward. Be wiser, calmer, more compassionate. We need the better angels of our nature to rise to the surface now. Truth is, we always did.