Route One

I try to keep up with the news. I try to use reliable sources. I rarely know who or what to trust anymore. How did it come to this? We now inhabit a world where apparently men can become women and vice versa, where phrases such as "minor attracted person" are used instead of peadophile, and when 65 percent of young men have checked out of dating because the costs outweigh the benefits. Jeez, its like everything has turned upside ass backwards. And here I am, trying to make sense of the non sensical, looking out onto a landscape where all my reference points are gone. I ask myself, how do I chart a path through this? What balance do I have to strike? And then I realise that this is a pointless consideration as I'm hard wired to be only one thing. Genuine, direct, devoid of window dressing. That's who I am at my core. There's no pretence or machiavellianism. It's route one and all I know. Perhaps I can be too blunt on occasion, too inclined to wash past peoples sensibilities. Yet I just don't see another way? I am this particular kind of human, raw and imperfect and unrefined. And I understand why this isn't to everybody's taste, I really do. I know I can be hard to be around. I know that I lack finesse. But ask yourself, what is it you actually want? Someone who's going to pander and not challenge you and simply reinforce everything you already know? Or somebody who respects you sufficiently to pursue an honest engagement? Now personally I avoid people who take the easy option because I think this lacks courage. And anybody who's read this blog know's that I have a low threshold for cowardice. In many ways I think cowardice is what got the world to this point. We allowed delusional thinking to go unchecked in the name of diversity and equity. We took a softly softly approach and allowed some crazy ideas to take root and flourish. We gave our kids way too much freedom; we affirmed when we should have said no, and in so doing we have raised the most fragile and insecure and entitled generation humanity has ever produced. When adults allow kids to dictate to them it is a recipe for disaster. Kids don't have fully developed brains. Its all impulse and instant gratification and self centred thinking. And if you let that embed what you end up with is an entirely useless human being, fragile and ill equipped to deal with all the challenges that life will present. You know what? I'm not sure whether anybody is going to read this or whether I have struck any chords. I'm writing this solely through my own lens, which has become weary and just a little fed up with what I am seeing unfold. So here's my suggestion. We all have a finite number of years on this planet, and we have a choice as to how we navigate the road. By my end I want to look back and be able to say that I always tried to be the truest version of myself. I never compromised my values for popularity and I never tried to be something that I'm not. Can you say that? Do you want to be able to? Well you can,and frankly the time to start this journey is now.

Modern Relationships & Why It's Never Been A Better Time To Be A Cat

Meowww. Sorry, I need to speak your language. My name is Tiddles, and I'm a 3 year old Tabby cat. Rob has kindly invited me as a guest blogger because he felt my take on modern relationships was coming from a unique angle. So here goes. I've noticed that as a cat the choices of female owner to me has never been greater. There are women, mostly in their 30's and upwards, who are literally falling over themselves to take me into their home and treat me like royalty. According to my dad, Ginger, it never used to be this way. Not so long ago women rarely had time for us because they'd be spending it with other two legged creatures that looked like them. What's the name? Oh yeah, men. Us cats barely got a look in, but times have been changing. Sometime a while back there was this thing called feminism that people started talking about. Like many ideas it started out for the right reasons, meant to empower women to have a voice and freedoms hitherto unavailable to them. Only like a lot of good ideas it got corrupted by some really zany women, and for some reason we reached a point where "Being a woman" meant little more than having the worst qualities of the worst kind of men. In fact, the real men became the butt of the joke. They got shamed for being masculine, for wanting to protect and provide and take care of women. They were told by boss babes that they were surplus to requirements, an ancient remnant of an old idea long past its prime. Only it got worse, because should a women enter into a long term relationship with a man they had literally ALL the power, and should things go south men would be left in a hole. I hear that on average women initiate 80 percent of divorces, with that rising to 90 percent when the female is college educated. Given that the courts skewed heavily in favour of them men would frequently be left financially crippled, and oftentimes with little or no access to their kittens. Sorry, I meant kids. This isn't my first language. The dating landscape became a hellscape for men, with everything stacked against them. And for a while nothing changed, but a few years back a strange new trend began to emerge. It seemed that men became increasingly cautious of entering into relationships because the risks around it outweighed the positives. Modern women, lazy in their own sense of entitlement, were literally bringing nothing to the table. They would have unrealistic expectations, and would frequently weaponise sex and use it as a bargaining chip in order to keep men compliant. Some men, the weaker one's just accepted this because they had been conditioned to do so. But the smarter one's, the self aware one's, the capable one's began to see that modern women had absolutly nothing to offer. Young men in their early 20's who were just starting to achieve began to realise that if they picked the wrong specimen then if things soured the female would emerge from the relationship with the vast majority of the resources. The home, the money, the kids. And the penny dropped for men, and the clever and self aware one's began to apply an abundance of caution to their dating rituals. They began to recognise the red flags, and some of them just straight up checked out of the dating game, choosing casual non commitment or often no relationship at all. Which is where being a cat comes in. You see, given that the good guys are checking out then it leaves a void. So cats like me just stepped in and offered these lonely and embittered spinsters the love they weren't getting elsewhere. Well, I say love, but as a cat all I'm really interested in is the quality of the food, easy access to cat nip, a warm bed and a wide choice of neighbours gardens to shit in. But the women don't know this. Actually, some do, but they put up with it. So this guest blog is really to sound the siren to all those cats out there looking for a good home. Now the real men have gone we need to be stepping in and giving these women what they need. And we need to be quick about it because there are already signs these women, albeit slowly, are starting to sense things aren't how they used to be. You hear them complain that men aren't approaching them. I hear them crying into their cheap wine bottles about how all the good men are taken, They haven't quite figured out that the good men aren't taken but simply avoiding the kind of "empowered girl boss" these women aspired to be. So step up cats of the world. There's a void to fill. There's cat nip and cosy beds and legs to rub against. Let's do these sad old spinsters a solid and give them a few crumbs of comfort. They never need to know that we don't really care. . . .

Are the LGB backing away from the TQ?

I spend some time on Twitter, or as it is otherwise known the "Digital Town Square. A place where people come and discussions are had, and it can be a wild suburb. Over recent weeks I've been seeing something that has intrigued me, and I wanted to think aloud about it. I'm seeing a lot of comments from the LGB community apologising for the behaviour of the TQ cohort. They are telling us not to judge them on the antics of the latter group, and insisting that the majority of LGB people just want to lead normal and productive lives. Reading this made me sad. Why should a group of people who happen to be gay feel they need to apologise for the actions of a group that does not speak for them? I mean, most of us can tell the difference between a person who happens to be gay and those for whom everything is seen through the lens of identity. The LGB community fought long and hard for deserved acceptance, so I'm wondering if there is some anxiety around whether these rights could now be at risk given the behaviour of some very vocal elements of the trans community. My suspicion is that most of the trans community probably feel the same as those LGB voices I refer to. Horrified at what a radical cohort is up to. Just wanting to be left alone to be the truest version of themselves. I mean, isn't that what everybody wants? Well apparently not, at least not if you've been watching the news of late. My instinct, and that's all it is, is that many of us share the same confusion as to how the extremists came to such prominence. Advocating for gender therapy for very young kids is a hugely controversial area. Putting kids on puberty blockers and providing sometimes irreversible surgeries at an age when they will be, for the most part, lacking the cognitive capacity to make informed decisions. Now statistics tell us that the most vulnerable group here are autistic kids and those suffering from gender dysphoria. I've got skin in the game here as I have one kid who is autistic and another who has experienced gender dysphoria and who identifies as non binary. Consider for a moment that around 87% of the latter, by their late teens or early 20's tender to experience a reduction in symptoms, and typically just settle into being Gay, it makes clear why there is such a profound risk in starting gender therapy treatments too soon. Only it gets worse, the cocktail of drugs offered, and the surgeries undertaken can have massive complications, leaving kids permanently mutilated, and in some cases sterile and unable to experience sexual arousal. These problems do not have an easy fix. So congratulations to those who think it is a marvellous idea to allow kids to go through this in haste. You've just sterilised a shit ton of gay kids. Now do you understand why I am so vocal about these issues? Why I do not shirk in expressing my opposition? You see, I happen to think that wrecking the bodies and hopes of gay kids is generally not cool, and as a society we might want to insist that these major decisions can only be made in adulthood. Oh yeah, and for those of you who've bought the myth that its better to have a living trans child than a dead non trans one, you might want to check some of the research here. There is NO trans genocide. In the same way there NO black genocide. Pro tip, stop accepting everything you are told and actually do the hard yards to educate yourself. This will also provide the added bonus of empowering you when, from time to time, you find yourself in discussion with an advocate of what is glibly described as "Gender affirming care". Don't lose a wink of sleep when somebody accuses you of being anti trans, by the way. If you are educated on the matter it won't take long before you realise that your position is actually enabling a young and vulnerable section of our community to have the best possible chance of leading positive and fulfilling lives. It's a hard subject, and an emotive one. But we are having to face it because the wellbeing of kids is at stake. I'd suggest that's worth fighting for. None of this suggests kids should be discouraged with experimenting with their image, their perception of self etc. It's important that they can and do. It's just we need to have an awareness that certain options should be off the table until their brains have developed sufficiently to see the implications of what they desire.

You Were There - A Letter To Joy Barnes, My Wife Of 25 Years

Through the light and the dark, through laughter and sadness, through the ridiculous and the sublime, you were there. Within weeks of meeting you, this quiet and newly qualified teacher from Hemel Hempstead, I knew you were someone I could build with. Your timeless class, your gentle steadfastness, your willingness to invest in this quirky brown eyed boy from a small country town. You bet on me when many might have hesitated. You trusted me, you invested in me, you gambled on an unfinished product. On an overcast but dry day in May 1998 you floated down the aisle of a tiny church. We faced each other and took vows. We made promises to one another. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. We took the great leap. Now, 25 years on, I look back over time and the overwhelming sense within me is gratitude. I struck gold. I won the lottery. I'm Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory. You have loved me when I was unlovely. You have kept your promises when many would have walked. You supported me when I wrote and published my book. You had my back during the terrible year of 2007 when I lost my father, lost the Christian faith that had bought us together, and when I left the job I had once loved but that was destroying me. You remained. You held the line. You have been a magnificent mother to our two beautiful girls and have invested so much of yourself into building relationships of trust and openness and acceptance with them. They love you for it. I love and respect you for it. And as for our journey, we have changed beyond measure from the wide eyed and naive kids we were when we first started out. We've consistently aimed to improve our level of connection with each other. We've learned which buttons to press. We've learned the buttons NEVER to press. We've learned how to build each other up and affirm, and I cannot recall a single example when we have acted out of spite. We've shared beautiful views, magnificent food, and enjoyed the company of wise and engaging people, and yet at the same time we have allowed each other to grow as individuals. There is a saying that love is something that can only be given with an open hand. If that hand closes too tightly it will crush and constrict and suffocate. Your hand has always been open, Joy. I'm so grateful that I have been able to be the truest version of myself with you and that you have found creative ways to work with this. The fact that we still want to grow, still want to find out new things about each other and open new doors is an amazing thing. Joy Louise Barnes,I could spend hours listing all the ways in which you have made my life better, but instead I want to say simply the following; You are my North star. You are my moral compass. You are the quiet voice amidst the storm that always helps me reach the shore. You are the first person I want to see in the morning and you will be the last person I want to see when one day,hopefully many years from now, I close my eyes for the last time. You are, and will forever be, The Lady Of The House.

Women & Fast Food

I'm going to draw a comparision between women and eating habits. Your reaction to this will tell you a lot about yourself. What you think of me as a consequence is your business. First off, there are some amazing women in the world. Some absolute top quality heavenly creatures who, if you're a smart guy, will see a mile off. Only I'm not talking about them today. At the age of 52 I have done a lot of observing and I think I'm reasonably well placed to offer some advice to the younger guys in their 20's and 30's who are struggling with the whole relationship thing. I'm going to highlight some red flags for you, so take from this what you will. The wrong kind of women is a bit like fast food. A kebab smeared with unhealthy dressing, a proper dirty burger. Which is to say it often looks and smells amazing and, in the moment, you kind of convince yourself you have to have it. And when you first taste my God the flavour is divine. The texture as you bite down, the rush to your palate. Only you realise a short time on that you feel heavier, a bit lethargic, and you get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach that you've digested something that's not entirely good for you. It's fast food, see. Designed to give a rush rather than to provide lasting satisfaction. A bit like red flag women. These come in an equally enticing package, ticking all those sensory boxes and you convince yourself that you have to have them. Thing is, with a low quality red flag women it won't be long before they have a similar effect on you that shitty food has on your digestive system. You'll feel tired, listless, unsatisfied. A good women brings the exact opposite effect to your life, and when you are around one its actually a peaceful and enriching experience. Now boys, if you've worked in any male/female environment you will have encountered the woman who sets her standards so impossibly high that she will be out of reach for 98% of all men. You don't earn enough, you're not tall enough, you're not not meeting what you will quickly learn are a literally endless set of demands. If you ever find yourself in the company of this archetype, well for me it's "Run Forrest, run!!". Trust me, you want no part of this creature as it will bring nothing but fatigue and a depreciating sense of your own self worth. These women are corrosive, and oddly you will find that the standards they expect from you they cannot aspire to themselves. So hypocrites, too. They can also be identified with their lack of self awareness around this blind spot. They are often attractive and capable in some respects, but their involvement with you is a transaction, a kind of emotional mortgage, and lo and behold should you ever fall behind on the payments. If you're a guy just starting out and beginning to make something of yourself you might want to avail yourself with the following harrowing statistic. Women initiate between 70-80% of all divorces. 90% if they are college educated. So if you've got money and resources or anything of value behind you, you need to be very careful in your selection of partner. The wrong choice will be catastrophic as the courts are against you and you can look forward to many years of financial servitude should your "Happy Meal" decide to call time on the relationship. For another red flag I strongly suggest you listen to how a women talks about her partner when she is around other women. It's an eye opener. But when you do bare the following in mind; if this women is bad mouthing and disrespecting her guy in his absence just take a moment to remind yourself that this flappy mouthed "Kebab" actually chose to be with the man they are busy tearing down. So if they can talk like that about their supposed nearest and dearest, well just let that sink in. So be wary of women who make impossible demands which they will often refer to as high standards, and equally circumspect around the gobby one's who can't resist bad mouthing. As a bonus point I would very much remind men that the right kind of Lady will bring something, in fact numerous things to a relationship. They will have multiple qualities and being around them can be a zen experience. Contrast this with the demands of the Office Queen who demands everything, yet in return brings little other than tits and arse and legs, which incidentally they will weaponise against you as part of the bargaining process. Quick digression, in relationships women have always been the gate keepers of sex, and this is for sound evolutionary reasons because the risk is all theirs. But should you ever find yourself in an alliance in which your desire for sex is being used as a bargaining chip then I'd suggest that this is not the kind of relationship that has any long lasting appeal. Boys, it's high past time that you levelled the playing field when it comes to how you interact with the often not so fairer sex. The pendulum has swung way too far in their favour and you have allowed yourself to be rendered impotent. This is a reminder to the high quality men out there that you have a massive value of your own, an array of qualities that you should share with only the most deserving Lady. My advice, as somebody whom has been married to a very high quality specimen for 25 years is to ensure that when you commit you be damn sure, or as sure as you can be, that the person with whom you plan to spend your days has your best interests at heart rather than merely their own. And to those women seething as you read this. Those of you tempted to burn my effigy, I very much suspect I may have struck a rather tender cord? To that I say quite simply, you're welcome. . . .

I Picked A Side

I do not think I could be any more disgusted having spent the last several hours ingesting the events that unfolded at the #LetWomenSpeakAuckland rally yesterday. For the unenlightend, a baying mob of radical trans activists, ably assisted by their female handmaids, breached the barriers and proceeded to assault, abuse, and threaten a small gathering of biological women who had come to a public space to share there concerns at the erosion of their safe spaces. This violent horde, consisting mostly of trans women, threw soup at the primary speaker, and created a threatening and expletive strewn wall around these women, eventually causing the shutdown of the entire event. I have already posted a video to my Facebook and Twitter pages today, and if you haven't already please fast forward to around the 26 minute mark and then watch how things unfold. And once you have, can one of you tell me why I, or anybody else, should feel under any obligation to support trans rights after this? Now I'm frequently disgusted at how many of my fellow men go about their business on a day to day basis, and lo and behold it appears that even the one's that claim to be women can't quite shake those masculine urges to dominate, control, and subjugate. What I see when I see this footage is the patriarchy in female garb. I see mysogyny of the highest order. To those of you who chant Trans Women are Women, the obvious question i have is "Really?", and "Are you sure?", because what I see is a group of bullies manifesting the worst traits of the worst kind of men. I am, not to put to finer point on it, enraged. Women fought long and hard for rights that were denied them. And to see pretend women bullying and belittling real women makes me sick to my core. So henceworth I am standing squarely and solely for women. I am standing with women. I will defend, in whatever capacity they require, their rights and entitlements. I will waste not one iota of my time on the men who claim to be women. They have, by their actions, eroded any compassion I might have had. Today I saw violence. I saw a crowd actively seeking to humiliate and silence actual biological women. So I'm done with the fake one's. I'm out. That's not to say I wish them harm or misfortune as this is not how I'm wired. It's just I've picked the side that really needs upholding. The savage irony is that this vast horde could be seen to be carrying banners with the slogan "Be Kind" on them. One has to marvel at such short term memory loss. One could almost be forgiven for suspecting that these counter protestors don't actually believe what they say? So today I am drawing clear blue water between myself and them. I'm handing in my support for their cause. You've rendered yourselves impossible to stand alongside. In Gods name did you not stop to think about the optics of this? Social media is blowing up further to these scenes, with JK Rowling leading the charge. In my life I have tried to consider all sides, and seek to better understand the grievances of minorities as they seek to gain recognition and equality. But I cannot, and will not stand back as an impartial observer whilst I see things such as I have today. I would be a coward to do so. If this seems to you like a rant then you are not mistaken. It is absolutely, emphatically a rant. And I invite those of you to pick a side if you have not already done so. Look at the facts on the ground. Seek to dissect truth from hyperbole. If you do, it will become apparent that we have allowed a mistruth to flourish. A man cannot change into a women, nor a woman into a man. These are brute facts everybody on the planet accepted until about five minutes ago.

Radical Trans Activists And Their Female Enablers

Its quite the phenomena. There's a cohort of women, statistically white liberal and in their 20's, that appear to be very willing to act unwittingly against their own self interest. In much the same way as Aunt Lydia acts against the interests of women in The Handmaids Tale. Why is this? And why am I concerned? Well I have been in a Twitter spat with one such female and it has been a real eye opener. Stylishly, her opening gambit was to call me Nazi, which I think fits the definition of going in hot. I pointed out that people who deploy that slur must have no understanding of the terrible history of the real Nazi's, but in truth I already knew it was simply a declaration of ignorance on her part. But back to my central question; when I reflect how long and hard biological women have had to fight to be heard, to be seen, to rise up against casual male oppression it staggers me that there are females who speak and act in such a manner that actively undermines this. And this is the part where the radical trans activist comes into the mix. Please note that I draw very clear blue water between this bunch and genuine and reasonable members of the trans community. The latter just want to live authentically and have the right to do so, accepting that consessions have to be made so as not to violate the existing rights of biological women. I support every last sensible member of the trans community. They absolutely exist and deserve to live free from fear and bigotry. Yet for the radical and vocal cohort there appears to be a demand that biological women abandon their rights to privacy. To have their safe spaces violated by biological males who identify as trans. They have to quietly submit and remain silent when hulking great trans women dominate formerly female exclusive sports. How ghastly must it be for a young female who has worked to excel in swimming or rugby or any other sport to suddenly find themselves facing a fully intact male in the pool or on the field. Youtube has an absolute carnival of horrors if you want to see female fighters being pulverised by other "women". It's a horrible sight to behold. And what about the Let Women Speak Rally's? A designated space in which women, often the victims of rape and other forms of domestic violence are given a platform to speak in public, only to be shouted down by trans activist ghouls, many of whom are young biological females themselves. It's difficult for me to regard these girls as anything other than enablers to the violent men who stand alongside them. There's a real Aunt Lydia element to this. Actual women aligning with violent men who identify as female whilst often masked and concealed. As a man I regard this as nothing less than bullying. These activists appear intent on silencing the voices of real women. Intent on trying to intimidate them into submission. In effect, men who are pretend women whilst simultaneously displaying the worst qualities of the worst men. Of all the tactics I was not expecting the patriarchy to deploy, it was for them to don dresses and nylons whilst violating and seeking to erode the safe spaces of embattled and often vulnerable women. So lets be clear on where I stand. My first and utmost allegiance is to actual biological females. They get first dibs on my empathy and concern. Then comes the kind and gentle and also vulnerable trans people who themselves have suffered from oppression and their fair share of violence. As for the trans activists, this vicious and patriarchal cohort of dominant men along with their white liberal 20 something handmaids, you don't get a jot of sympathy. I do not wish you harm but I do not support you. I absolutely stand against any twisted ideology that seeks to usurp the rights and dash the dreams of real women. Women who deserve a voice. Women who help make our world richer and more vibrant. Who make things better.

Know Your Own Radar

Nobody ever messes around with me. Nobody tries to bully or threaten or intimidate me. I literally never, and I mean never get those kinds of issues. And I wonder why? I'm not particularly large, nor aggressive, or confrontational. I don't think I act in a way that is menacing or intimidating. So why is it? Well I have come to the conclusion that its likely a combination of how I carry myself and how I tend not to play games. Anybody who has contact with me is going to get the real version, whatever that happens to be. I feel no need to try to impress you, or win you over, or demonstrate how amazing I am. I don't have much in the way of insecurities, or any axes to grind. I just feel liberated to be who I am on my terms. It wasn't always this way. As an overweight teen I had plenty of angst. I'd worry that nobody would find me attractive, or want to spend time with me, and that I would never really amount to anything. Feelings common to most teens, I expect. Yet as you go through life and as you mature then life has the tendency to show you what is important, to signpost you towards the things that are of real value. And if you are paying attention you grow to understand your strengths and capabilities and begin to play to them. Now I'm a good communicator. That's a brute fact. I can write and I can talk and I can make myself be understood. But that's just the half of it. In order to be a really good communicator you need a good radar. You need to be able to listen, to lean into trying to understand what other's think and why. Doesn't mean you have to agree with them and it doesn't even commit you to empathise. Yet I'd argue you will find, when you really spend time to listen to somebody you will see their humanity, and when you see that it somehow smoothes the way. So coming full circle and considering the opening line of this blog, the reason I don't think anybody messes with me is because they don't have to. You just need to be you and I expect we'll get on fine. All that said, throughout the course of my job I am often required to be very firm with the public when they do come on strong. I have a very simple and effective principle that I deploy in these cases. First you make clear what your concern is around their conduct, and then provide a very clear consequence should it persist. And what's massively important is that if it does the consequence needs to be deployed. It's so frustrating when I hear colleagues give frequent warnings and then never follow through. By the way the same principle often works with kids. Sometimes people need boundaries in order to overcome their baser natures, so put the boundaries in place. It's not so much about control as it is setting up the grounds for effective communication. Say what you're going to do and then do what you say. Every time. People will soon get the measure of you, and more importantly they will confidently know where they stand.

One Final Day

One day we will hug a person we love for the last time, or scruffle a dog's neck, or eat a final meal, or stare at a view that's precious to us. Nothing lasts forever, and this reality can be either a terror or a catalyst. Its 00.22 in the morning as I sit here on my sofa. I've just been looking through pictures on my Ipad. Apple do this clever technical thing in which an image briefly moves before it locks into place. There are several images of my beloved Billy that move ever so slightly before he settles and becomes still.To see him move is terribly piercing. I want to glance to my right and see him snuggled up on the top of the sofa, only he's gone. Gone forever. All of you who read this will likely have experienced the longing for one last contact with someone or something departed. A primal yearning to reach out. To touch, to hold, to inhale a fragrance or feel the contours of someone's features. It's a unique kind of agony, right? It's an impossible wall through which none can pass. Where the only currency is memory, which often seems a poor relation. Some things in life we cannot have. Some things we cannot change. And it hurts. You know what? I have no clue where I'm going with this. Just screaming into the void, really. I have no particular words of comfort I can bring that would brighten the day of somebody feeling this way. I mean how could I? But know this; what you feel, what I feel as I type this is utterly normal, and also beautifully human. It means there was something in our lives that was precious, something of real meaning. A deep connecting element, a presence you could love and cherish and yearn for. What a gift to have had such a thing? What a privilage to have felt that most sacred ache. Some call it love, but whatever its name its a mysterious force that reminds us that we're not just flesh and bone. Goodness knows I struggle with faith, but who hasn't yearned to see someone who they have lost again. Greedy perhaps, but understandably so. I'm so fortunate to have a wife and kids I adore, and a wider family that I'm proud to stand alongside. I am not bereft of love, nor without hope, yet still I yearn for that which the universe cannot afford me. What I would give for one last walk along the canal with Billy, or one last phone call with my Dad during the half time of a football match. One last connection with the ghosts of our past. What a glorious thing that would be. . .

My Thoughts On Andrew Tate

Unless you've been living under a rock Andrew Tate will be a familiar name to you. currently languishing in a Romanian prison under suspicion of sex trafficking, his lifestyle and outspoken views have him loved and loathed in equal measure. To some he's a mysoginist and player, to other's he's just an Alpha male speaking honestly into relationships and sexual dominance hierarchies. Me being me, I decided to ignore what the propagandist mainstream media say, and instead spend some time listening to what he says. My thoughts have emerged and they are somewhat mixed, because he strikes a contradictory note with most positions he holds. I've heard him bemoan the breakdown of traditional values whilst simultaneously burning his way through women like a dose of salts. On that note, there's an unsettling disparity emerging when it comes to online dating. A very small percentage of high achieving men are enjoying the overwhelming majority of women, the latter being uber picky and aiming for the top of the pile where most men cannot aspire to compete. Society is going to and is already paying a price for this but nobody appears to want to consider the ramifications. I very much like what he has to say about personal responsibility and also the way he celebrates masculinity. We need a world full of strong and capable men, just as we need beautiful feminine women who by their qualities can gently help to control our worst excesses. Ladies, we need you, and you need us. Positive masculinity and femininity are magnificent qualities and I will celebrate them. If you want to walk another road then I'm not stopping you, but I'll stand firmly against you whenever you vomit out terms such as toxic masculinity and patriarchy. Anyway's back to Mr Tate; I would want to clear that should the charges against him be upheld he should spend a very long time behind bars. Yet even then his poor life choices would not negate his wiser moments. Even the worst of people can sometimes have wisdom to impart, and I absolutely share his concerns around how men are becoming feeble and passive and useless. Good men make the world better. Mentally capable men can bring about reasonable outcomes. Stong men can inspire and lead and illuminate. I am proud of my particular set of chromosomes, and I won't buy into the dim witted view that everything wrong in the world can be placed at the feet of men.