Friday, 9 September 2011


Something confuses me about a certain type of guy. It's the kind that when a relationship ends thinks that the best way to win back a partner is to stalk, harass, and generally make their lives a living hell. My initial thought is that if this is such a top notch strategy why don't all males deploy it at the start of a relationship? During the dating stage when we're really trying to impress you? I mean, we could send endless texts containing a mixture of veiled threats and declarations of love? Or perhaps a few silent calls? And how about we drive past your house late at night and brick your window? Or scratch your car? Or throw paint at the front door? I mean, that's going to win your love isn't it?

It isn't? Oh. And there's me thinking I've happened upon the perfect strategy for winning the girl of my dreams. Back to the drawing board for me then.

On a serious note, I've dealt with countless females and males who have endured conduct as described above; some of them for extended periods. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like, although I do hear the desperation in their voices. But anyway, back to these spurned males, these clear thinking genuises who, contrary to all common sense, think that you win somebody's love and respect by threats and menace and coercion.

You might have noticed. I don't have much respect. In fact I don't have any respect. I don't think anybody who does this deserves any. What they do deserve is a full psychiatric evaluation, preferrably within a secure unit whilst modelling a straight jacket and denied access to anything sharper than crayons. Come on guys, what are you thinking? In what corner of your brain did these marvellous ideas spring from?
Let's have a bit of plain speaking. If this is your idea of reasonable behaviour then you need to be taking medical advice. Your conduct is abnormal and irrational and cause for some serious concern. Now I don't know whether it stems from your need to control or from some deep self loathing? Perhaps you think that if you can't win back the person you're stalking then nobody else would come near you with a barge pole?

Whatever. I don't care. I do however, care about the way you are toying with and manipulating those around you. I care that you cause fear and distress to adults and kids and appear not to understand just how far
wrong you've gone. And what you're doing is wrong; wrong on every level, and it's going to do nothing to win back the person you desire. Besides, wouldn't you rather have somebody respect you and choose to be with you for reasons other than fear? I'm not one for stereotypes, but something close to being a real man entails treating others with decency and consideration and respect. So do yourself a favour. No, do the world a favour. If you're inclined towards these patterns of behaviour get help, and do it sooner rather than later, preferably before you cause someone real harm.

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