Changes Down The Years

I've noticed something about myself over the last few years. It's kind of dawned slowly, but I've noticed a change. To put simply, very few people cause me issues. Nobody tries to intimidate me, push me around, or gain superiority. I mean never. Yet it wasn't always this way. And I'm kind of baffled as to how this change has come about? I'm a fairly gentle spirit in most respects. I don't seek to bully or dominate others. It's not important where I sit in the pecking order, whatever that last bit means. I suppose I'm plain speaking, and I know I enjoy a bit of verbal back and forth, and I never stay quiet about the things that really matter to me. So what's changed? Am I just more comfortable in my own skin, less interested in how I'm perceived? Or just unable to perceive when people are trying it on? As it happens, when I'm out in public I deliberately walk with my shoulders back and stand up straight, but that's because being slouched means that you're more likely to be a target. And I've even tested this out multiple times whenever I find myself in proximity to a group of rowdy younger lads. Shoulders back, don't avoid eye contact, head held up. I think it might give off some kind of signal perhaps, because I've never had any snark or abuse. Am I more confident these days? Dunno. Does being less bothered what people think amount to the same thing? I'm not blind to my flaws, but I'm honest about my strengths, too. I speak out when it matters, I stand up for my core principles. I'm not looking for applause or appreciation, or to attract the attention of other's. I'm starting to wonder whether I should now officially diagnose myself as being comfortable in my own skin? OK with who I am, where I'm at? That's not to say I'm not still open to new experiences. I love engaging with new ideas and passions and taking steps into uncharted territory. It's just I've enough sense of accomplishment behind me to understand that no single thing can or will ever define me. Whilst I speak quite well I'm actually a product of the working class. Hard working parents, who themselves came from parents that flirted with poverty. For all my faults I've always known that nothing comes without hard work. In fact if I was going to give one peice of advice it would be thus; Work hard, carry your share of the load. Never let other's lift what you can lift yourself. I left school with no qualifications and no hope, spending years in the building trade before coming to realise I was dying inside. I recall my very last day in the business. It ended with a confrontation with the guy who I was working for. The argument was probably over nothing, but at some point he decided it would be smart to issue the following challenge; "So if I told you to fuck off now where would that leave you?". A bit of back and forth followed, but he was basically calling my bluff. I recall putting my paint brush down, walking past him, and then walking all the way home from Buckingham to Winslow. I never returned to the building trade in any formal capacity. I'm not sure whether it was an act of abject stupidity, or stupidly brave. Somewhere between the two, truth be told. Plenty followed, but to cut a very long story short and through a combination of luck and graft I ended up working for a world leading electronics company, even setting up a department dedicated to new business, a model that was embraced by similar franchises across the globe. I spent 12 years making a lot of chronically obese Germans very wealthy before once again circumstances led me to a crossroads. And again it was good old fashioned hard work, trustworthiness, and resilience that got me there. I could go on but the point is already made. Never be afraid to take big decisions, trust in your own ability, earn the respect of those alongside you. It's a heck of a currency. Don't act entitled. That just means you're a wanker. Nobody likes somebody who acts like the world owes you something. It doesn't. The world doesn't care whether you succeed or fail, so it's down to you to sort that out. By the way, I have absolutely no idea why I started writing this, but you don't care do you? I guess what I'm trying to say is that you get out what you put in if you're lucky. All you can give is your best, and I've found that by doing so a little can go a very long way. And don't be afraid to get it wrong or fail outright, because that's learning in its rawest form. In fact there's nothing that can't be learned from if you let it teach you. Life isn't fixed, so you can't be fixed, either. Be open to surprises, be flexible your perspective. And know that you will be wrong about a great many things, which is fine just so long as you have the integrity to want to be right in the end.