So Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

When I was a young man I was under the impression that being nice and working hard would get me to where I wanted to be. It took far longer than it should have to learn that only half of that equasion holds. I was a reasonably attractive young fella. I was in good shape. I was smart. And I could be VERY funny. These are all good traits, but then I went and ruined it all be being TOO nice. Nice is poison when you are trying to attract a girl, although in my defence I was only responding to what society had told me. How many mother's have told their sons that women like good men. If only I had known then that this is quite possibly the most destructive peice of advice I would ever receive. If this was the case then why did the bad boys get all the action? Why did the nice guys come last? Could it be that the equasion is wrong? Well yes and no. What your mother was actually saying is that the kind of good she was referring to comes with a few caveats. My wife Joy, an avid reader of Anne Of Green Gables (Nobody's perfect) observed that in actual fact what a women wants is a man who is baseline good but whom also has the capacity to be bad. From experience, and correct me if I am wrong ladies, but what you want is confidence and competence, with a side salad of chivalry that doesn't ever devolve into the kind of fawning niceness that bores you more quickly than most of you are willing to admit. Full disclosure, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on what it means to be masculine in the modern world. It became evident to me that men have been the subject of an ongoing campaign of smears and disrespect that is causing many of them to withdraw. I mean why wouldn't they? If you are constantly being told how toxic you are, how YOU are the problem, and how YOU need to change, then what other outcome do you expect? I have a simple message for every person who has raised that critique of men. It's rather to the point. Fuck you. Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on. I'm not even going to waste my time wiping my arse on the intellectual toilet paper that comprises your reasoning skills. I do not like you and I do not respect you. If you are so willing to buy into this rhetoric then I'm actually a little shocked that you have read this far. I mean, there's nothing here for you. So let me nail my colours to the mast. Most men are awesome. Most men are not toxic. Most men want to become better versions of themselves and aspire to be decent father's and husbands and sons. And to the women who constantly bleat about the absence of good men please know that your IQ is in need of a steroid injection. It's not where it needs to be. Sure, there are some assholes out there who don't have a great deal to offer, but the problem is, thanks to YOU all the guys have been swept into the same societal basket. You've applied a one size fits all, reductionist mantra to a whole demographic. Congratulations Einstein, you're the proud owner of the reasoning skills of a cat turd. Now to the guys out there. To those who have so many qualities and yet remain so undervalued. Hold up your head and stick your shoulders back. Take a deep breath and stop believing this nonsense. You have hopes and aspirations. Chase them. You have skills and positive traits. Hone them. But perhaps most importantly, its time for you to drown out the noise. There's a whole world out there to conquer, and with some determination and sacrifice, sprinkled with the occasional spoonful of good luck, you can be a success. I would advise you to avoid the kind of women that brings nothing to the table, or who comes with a set of unreasonable demands whilst simultaneously offering nothing that is going to make you better. And should you meet a higher quality women be aware that they are not perfect either. Nobody is. But the time has come for men to push back against the rank stupidity that now appears to be leaking into all areas of our discourse. We need to stop listening to fools, and to start putting time and the effort into being the most polished and complete versions of ourselves that we can. You world owes you nothing; you only owe yourself. And as for this whole good man mantra, well I suppose there is a place for it, but I'd argue its a luxury belief and should only be considered when you've got yourself to where you want to be. None of what I am suggesting requires you to be unkind or capricious, by the way. I consider both those things to be weaknesses. But you are going to need inner strength, and some real resolve, and perhaps be willing to make some sacrifices in order to succeed as you desire. I would suggest that most things of any real meaning take time to achieve. I mean, isn't that what gives them their value?