The Empty Suitcase

Imagine, if you will an empty suitcase. Vintage, blue exterior, a vivid blue lining. Imagine it sat open on a chair, devoid of contents. When you see a suitcase what images does it conjur? The anticipation of a journey? The prospect of exiting times? Rich experiences? The discovery of new horizons that can be etched into our minds? Me too. Yet what happens when it is just an empty suitcase? Or when its contents have been removed. When rather than being an indicator of new adventures it simply exists as a reminder of something good that was lost, or taken, or denied? You ever feel like an empty suitcase? I have so much to say, but cannot say it. So many feelings, such a sheer face of pent up frustration. Yet to speak too loudly, or indeed at all, would be wrong. Wrong because there are some things that are better left unspoken, some things you just have to keep in. Some things that must remain enshrouded. I suspect many of you are a little confused reading this right now. Where is he going with this? What's the punchline? He normally does this when he's lining up a point he wants to make. I got nothing. Sometimes we are faced with circumstances that don't have easy answers, as much as we would like it to be otherwise. So instead I want to come at things from another way. What is one to do when life comprises of sloppy seconds? Or on the really bad days festering thirds? What happens when you have absolutely no control over an outcome? Well I guess then the question becomes one of damage control. How to make a thing less bad, or reduce harm? Of course there are some in life who make no such concessions and who will lash out at all and sundry when they realise that the world isn't going their way, blind to the fact that there was never any promise that it would. I have learned this year that sometimes saying nothing, whilst not typically my way, is the right thing to do. The kind thing to do. I'm in a situation where the decisions of other's have had a massive, and I mean game a changing impact on my life, and I am trying to navigate this in a way that doesn't create a greater harm. I don't ever wish harm on other's. I'm not so made. I've never sought vengeance or retribution as that only further poisons the well. I'm glad about this. I'm just not the kind of guy who revels in causing distress. I once told a former boss that I never want to live my life at the expense of other people. That remains so. Which means that the path forward for me is about finding the way to forgiveness. There it is. I've just discovered the point I had no idea I was going to make. Forgiveness is a balm that can cure many of life's ills. It is liberating. It is life giving. It's also bloody hard. And I put to you that it is not always a linear path. Somedays you won't feel like forgiving because you're all wound up in the tidal flow of your own feelings, and these can be overwhelming. So the thing to remember is that forgiveness, much like love, is an act of the will. It is a choice, an often raw and rough commitment to moving beyond the mealstrom of our own emotional voyage. In your life people will cause you harm. Sometimes it is deliberate, but often it will be a by product of struggles they themselves were going through. Sometimes you might just end up as collateral damage as they are trying to centre themselves. Which is to say tread lightly. We live in a world inhabited by a lot of lost souls who walk their own path, and they have struggles and dilemmas that may be invisible to you. Forgiveness is hard, and anger is the easier impulse. Fuck, I sound like Yoda. But you get my drift, right? Sometimes the hard thing is the right thing, in fact the only thing that is going to move you forward. So that's the choice we all must make when all is said and done. Are we going to stampede through life like angry bulls amidst the china? Or is there a time for just enduring, for dealing with the harm in a quiet and dignified way. In closing, I want to give you some homework. Imagine or revisit a time when you were faced with this. Ponder on how you responded. Did you get it right? Would you do it differently given another chance. Only you have the answer to that . . .