Master Plan?

I haven't got one. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not?I guess I've just come to realise that it's just as rewarding taking pleasure in the small things rather than waiting for some great over arching narrative to come together. It wasn't always this way. As a kid I was good at one thing; writing. I mean really good. So my game plan consisted in not worrying about an education, and simply going to work for my Dad's decorating business, which would allow me to use my spare time writing vast and thrilling works of fiction. Little did I realise that being good at something doesn't necessarily mean that it is going to fall into your lap. I got to learn that you could be rejected by a publisher because their lists were full, and received at least half a dozen rejection letters telling me to persevere but sadly informing that they could not move forward. And this was all before I'd reached 20. Perhaps a more committed person might have kept going. Perhaps I didn't want it badly enough. I kind of drifted for a few years beyond that, coming to the realisation that the Master Plan was in fact a bit of a cluster fuck. Yet life continues, and through a series of misadventures I seem to have reached a place where I would describe myself as broadly content. For this I'm grateful, because I don't think many people can say that. As I look back, at the aged of 48, through the passage of time it occurs to me that so many of the things that turned out really well emerged from unplanned events, random circumstances, or just plain good fortune. That's not to say I'm not good at taking opportunities, but it just reflects the fact that my road to this point has been somewhat random. And I don't know what to make of that? I'm not sure what message to take away? I still think having a plan is generally a good idea, as having somewhere to aim for provides purpose, and as humans purpose is a real driving force. I suppose I've just learned to hold things lightly, to go with the flow and make the best of things. I've succeeded in some aspects and failed in others. I've made more gaffs than I have years left to recount. But here's the thing; I just kept plodding. Just rumbled on. And as for the future? No master plan. A few ideas, a few possibilities. It's a different calculation when you're married with a family as no decision is made in isolation. That actually helps; it limits my propensity to be reckless. We seem to live in a world now that is more divided and agitated than I can ever remember, and I didn't sign up for that. So whatever I do, wherever I go, I just want to go there with good humour and kindness. I'd rather build bridges than burn them, hope rather than hate. I have an enquiring mind and I've vowed to always remain malleable. I'm not a fixed point. I don't think that's healthy, or good for growth. So as it all goes to hell in a hand basket I'm just going to drift ever forwards, ducking the missiles and grasping at every moment of happiness that presents itself. It might not be a finely honed strategy, but it has gotten me this far.