Fragile Little Pickles

Did you hear the one about the comedian whom was asked to sign a “Behavioural agreement” prior to a gig at the School of African & Oriental studies in London? I shit you not, this was actually a thing. Unsurprisingly, the comic in question, Konstantin Kisin declined to accommodate, and in a near miraculous outbreak of common sense the campus in question have apologised and declared to be in full support of free speech. All a bit “woke” isn’t it? Well actually it’s just flat out deranged as far as I can see. As delicate as these flowers on campus must clearly be, they really need to appreciate that the world isn’t one big pink and fluffy safe space. It has edges, it can be painful, and with the evolution of ears came the risk that one might, from time to time, hear stuff you’d prefer not to. I’m sorry, but suck it up buttercup. The world is not a safe place. It wants you dead. And in funny kind of way that’s what gives this whole charade meaning. Exactly when did we begin to infect our kids with the delusion that we can protect them from everything? Isn’t it obvious if you try to protect them from everything you actually prepare them for nothing? Isn’t that so screamingly, crushingly, achingly self-evident? Apparently not. A word to the wise young person; I am not a safe space. I am a random generator of unsafeness that owes you no obligation to appease your fear of, well, apparently everything. Being emotionally robust is one of the most important gifts you bestow upon yourself. You want to spend your life aggrieved? As a victim? As some vessel of offence that cracks at the slightest emotional impact? Well good luck with that one. You’ve a world of pain before you. You’ve set yourself up, by virtue of your self-imposed fragility, for a life of unnecessary angst and insecurity. What a way to live! Better instead you face up to the reality that you are in control of precisely nothing. That the safe space you crave, whilst all warm and mushy, does you very little good and most likely a huge amount of harm. Tension and rough edges and blurred lines are just the way life is for the most part, give or take the occasional oasis. Why not do yourself one huge favour and take that aboard? Better still, open up those emotional pores and accept that you’ve no fundamental right to demand that others accept your spurious lines in the sand. We’re apes. We thrive on conflict, and for the most part we’re all living during time when the most extreme form we come across are of the verbal variety. A bit of verbal jousting isn’t the end of the world? Hearing people say things you don’t subscribe to likewise. Just gird those sides, people. Be a little brave, a bit more inquisitive. You might end up seeing things a little differently, or at the very least come to a place where you can demonstrate some emotional resolve.