This Isn't How You Win

I get it. There’s a lot of bad men out there. A lot of weak men, immature men, socially inept men. I agree. You are preaching to the converted. But if you want me to believe that this entitles you to tar all men with the same brush then you have all your work before you. You also have reality against you, so good luck with that one. I say all of the above with a kind of weary boredom, because I am just a little tired with all the heat and noise that radical feminists are now making. And no, I do not want to silence you, but I do reserve the right to shrug my shoulders and dismiss all your assertions that we are complicit in the patriarchy as nonsense. It just isn’t true, and I’m not going to be silent about that. By way of example I want to use an example of how I try to interact with the lady closest to me, which would be my wife of 20 years. I’ve formed what I hope is a balanced view on how I should seek to interact in this regard, and my position is fairly simple; I just want to see her flourish, and take all possible steps to empower her accordingly. I want her to be fulfilled, emboldened, and free to make choices that enrich her day to day life experience. I’d never dream of standing in the way of what makes her happy, or seek to impose any degree of dominance over her. I wouldn’t want to, and she’d not indulge any such aspirations on my part. Yet according to some I’m part of a patriarchal deep state designed to keep all things feminine under some dark, despotic yoke. It’s an alien concept to me, and a hugely undesirable one. As I’ve said before I remain a fan of the #Metoo movement, and I accept that the project to raise better men is an urgent and pressing one. But know this, by dismissing all men you potentially alienate a large swathe of the male population that is really keen to see genuine equality, and for the creation of a fairer and kinder world. So please do not disregard those of us who are truly and passionately on your side. Whilst you might not need us, there are strong male voices that have something to say that might effect a positive change or two. Man hating is daft because any form of hate is daft. And to fail to recognise this is only going to slow down a movement that is impressive and vital to making the world a better place. So to conclude, I stand with you as a proud white male. As a man who absolutely refuses to accept the extreme condemnation and the broad brushstrokes that I see from some elements on the extreme tip of the feminist movement. I won’t apologise for being who I am, and nor will I remain silent in the face of such self-defeating absurdity. There’s a culture to change, a world to shape, and I really hope to see this in my lifetime.