Sex fascinates me. It's potentially the most awesome means of expressing ourselves. Our minds and bodies are just incredible, and when it all comes together it can take relationships off in directions that can surprise, enrich, and illuminate. Thing is, I suspect for a lot of couples there's a little issue known as overlap. If you haven't had the low down on this here's the distilled version. No two people are the same, and no two people are the same sexually. With me so far? Because of this, when it comes to our sexuality many couples find themselves in a state of perpetual compromise. Put simply, we get off on different things, have different desires, different kinks. The trick is to find a place where both partners can express themselves without going beyond what they find comfortable. In a sense I understand why this can be a stumbling block, but for me it's never been the big issue that it has been to others. My natural disposition is to want to please my partner, or to put it another way, I love seeing the most special person in my life totally fulfilled. I can honestly say that it's a higher priority for me than my own satisfaction. And the truth is, I've never quite decided whether this is normal? I cannot enjoy intimacy unless I've met the needs of the person I'm with. I feel hollow, I feel selfish. It's never felt right. The thought of being self seeking sexually is just not a road I can travel. I guess that makes me a giver. I'd be interested to get the perspectives of other guys in respect of this. Now for those waiting for me to go into sordid details I'm afraid you'll be waiting a long time. I may be open about sex, but I'm not in the business of betraying confidences. The reason for this blog is to get people thinking about their own sexual identity, and the way they communicate this. How honest are you with your partner? For that matter, how honest are you with yourself? I freely confess that I battled with aspects of my sexual persona for years, and it wasn't until recently that I just accepted that I don't fit the stereotype. More than that, I don't want to. I'm drawn to very specific types of females, and I'm ok with that. And i'm with a partner who understands me, and listens, and talks.
Sexuality is incredible. If you have the courage to be accepting of who you are, and if you quit trying to fit into the narrow definitions we appear to have forged, then a whole new world opens up. So ladies, gents, I guess all I'm saying is be real. Be you. And trust that this is ok. And the right person for you will embrace this, which is key to making any relationship tick.