Friday, 14 October 2011

Viagria, Nigerian Royalty, And A Spanish Fortune

If I purchased Viagra every time I received an e-mail offering me some I would be walking around with a permanent erection. Now whilst I'm as fond of a good erection as the next guy I'm not convinced such a state of affairs would enhance my day to day functioning. Serious consideration would have to go into my choice of clothing, and visits to the swimming pool would be a total no no. I'm not convinced other patrons would take kindly to me emerging from the waters with my shorts betraying my mood. Worse, however would I concentrate on the day to day things? The mundane stuff that just needs to be done whilst sporting such a feisty beast?
If its all the same to you, and as much as I appreciate the constant special offers that stream into my inbox, I fear that for my greater wellbeing and to avoid outraging public decency I shall have to refrain. And as I've previously mentioned, involuntary erections are bad enough, let alone those of the perpetual variety.
I do miss the contact from Nigerian Princes, however. I've received many a moving letter telling me how they were exiled to Moscow, leaving an unspent fortune in a bank account they cannot access. And apparently only I can save the day, and all I need do is provide my bank details so the money can be transferred, for which I'll receive a six figure sum for helping this poor beleaguered royal back on his feet.
And then there's the Spanish lottery. The term lottery implies that it's a, err lottery. Remarkable then that I've won it so many times. All the more so given that I've never played it.
So then, I can't handle the Viagra, the Nigerian Royal family don't need me, and I'm yet to get my hands on all that Spanish loot.
Oh well, it's Friday and the kids are home. Pizza later then perhaps some tv. Despite my lack of riches, and equipped with merely a conventional male libido, life really isn't so bad.

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