I want to be emphatically clear about something. There will be nothing in this blog that aims to mock, ridicule, or belittle. I'm writing about a group of people that I have huge respect for, and for all I know people whom are living productive, rich, and complete lives. I'm writing about them as their circumstances have intrigued me for many years, and I want to think about them aloud. First, a I need you to be aware that amidst the Christian community there is a disproportionate ratio of females to males. I can only conjecture as to why this is so, but it's perhaps to do with the female propensity to seek out a father figure. For whatever the reason, if you are a Christian female and seeking romantic attachment the odds are against you from the get go. This isn't to say that there are not many fine masculine Christian men out there, but the ratio is marked and somewhat depressing. So with these facts uncontested, what we're left with is a largish number of females that, due to religious reasons, are not fortunate enough to find the love of their lives. Actually this is not an accurate statement; these women will oftentimes declare a love for God and for his Church and declare that this is their vocation and hearts desire. For some this may be so, but for many I'm not convinced. I can think , with little or no trouble, of several attractive and capable women whom are in their 40s, single, and virgins. How do you know they are virgins, you ask in unison? Simple, it is a requirement of the faith to refrain from sexual activity outside of marriage. In this context I use the term sexual activity to mean intercourse; I cannot know whether specific individuals consider non penetration to be an acceptable form of sexual
fulfillment within the remit of their specific belief system. That frankly is of no concern to me either way for my point does not rest on this. My goal is to identify that there exists a very small sub section of society that, for specifically religious reasons, dramatically limit their range of possible experience. Now this is volitional; and none of my damn business; only I've met many of these beautiful women and have heard them speak of how difficult it is to get older and face the likelihood that they will never rear children, or be part of a positively reinforcing relationship with a male. Many of them throw themselves into careers, Church, voluntary work, living and breathing their deeply held faith. This is their choice, and many will tell you that if this is the Lords will then so be it. At this point I'm going to venture only the slightest criticism, and that is to suggest that they have limited their range of human experience for a phantom, for a placebo that lulls them into believing that the best is yet to come. They may be resigned to accepting this life as a veil of tears, and regard the world beyond as their true country. Who knows; they may be right. But I'll say this; I think in their honest moments, when the curtain of human fragility and human yearning parts, many will quietly weep at what their lives can never be. They will not give birth to new life, nor stand at an alter and say "I do." They will attend the marriages of friends, of kin, and hold nieces and nephews and have rich extended family lives, and for many this will be enough. Only amidst their number I know that many yearn, many weep, and many eventually become quietly embittered at what has been denied them. I should also add that this sentiment may extend to those who did successfully meet partners but left it too late to have children. I cannot stress enough that I do not assume this group are embittered; I do however sense a certain sadness, a great unfilled need, an ever present hole in their lives that no amount of religion will fill.
And here we reach the nub of of my blog. Once again we see the claims of religion wrecking the hopes and desires of people who one might think deserve better. You may have noticed, Christians are generally kind and wonderful people, and being the soppy old fool that I am I'd love each one to achieve happiness in the fullest human sense. Now it's entirely likely that this blog might earn me I private e-mail or two. This sometimes happens now, and I don't mind. If I'm fool enough to go global with my thoughts I cannot and do not expect an easy ride. As I close, I want any Christian female reading this to be clear that I am not being critical of you. You are lovely. I am critical of your religion, which promises so much yet sometimes takes so very much in return. I know, it's also given you deep friendship, real meaning, not to mention a rich vein of hope in your lives. I am happy for you. Yet I am sad, too. There's more for you in this world. And it's ok to want it. And your Bible is so very wrong about so very much.