So who exactly is making the rules? Has someone been elected who has ultimate authority regarding what is kinky and what is normal? If yes then I'm not aware of them, which leads me to wonder just who or what is conspiring to keep questions of sex, role play, and sexuality as vaguely taboo topics?We more often than not make mention of these things as asides, perhaps a veiled Facebook comment, or a light hearted office joke. There's something that seems to inhibit us when it comes to talking about certain things aloud.
Well I'm bucking that trend today. If that changes how you perceive me then so be it.
What's your problem with a couple, or an individual indulging in a bit of role play? So what if they like the idea of certain sex toys, or clothing, or practices? What harm is that doing to you or to society as a whole? And why does this make them less normal? Is there a rule book, some government published guidelines concerning the do's and don'ts of sex? Let's take a subject such as bondage, which is widely practiced and little spoken of in homes the length of the country. Does a couple that enjoys this pastime need to justify themselves? Have they broken a law? How about the man that likes to dress up? Or the women who just adores an hour alone with her dildo and her imagination? What laws have they broken? What lines have they crossed?
Here's my take. If I was single and I met somebody new, I would consider it a mischievous pleasure to learn as much as I could about their fantasies and desires. If I know what makes a person tick, and that person is brave enough to let me into their inmost desires you can be damn sure that I'm going to meet those needs. Of course, their are certain things which the law does forbid, and I of course accept those as vital. But that still leaves so many options. A rich love life can be a real source of strength within a relationship, and perhaps an outlet for those who are single. Can we please step back from labeling people as strange or different because they happen to like things that you might not find arousing?
Now all this taken into consideration, there is one danger I can think of. Perhaps there's an imbalance in some relationships, and one party wants to explore further than another. This is a tough subject, and I guess communication and compromise is the key. Ultimately we need to ask how important sex is to the overall relationship, because in some cases it's just a fringe activity. So long as both parties are ok with this then that's fine, too. People are different and that's absolutely great. The reason I'm on my high horse today is because I really do think that society puts unnecessary taboos in frankly the most ridiculous places. We are sexual, we have imaginations, and when we combine these two in the context of either a loving relationship or a solitary pastime, we can explore ourselves and others in ways that can really enrich.
You know what? Many years ago, I was with a girl and we both had the mindset that sex should, in some sense, be regarded as adults playing. I've never lost that, and it's grounded many of my perspectives on the matter. Sex is a pathway to intimacy, a road to fantasy, and often both combined. Don't let society tell you otherwise. And don't ever put those limits on yourself. And if this blog somehow makes me kinky, or a pervert, or degraded, then I'd suggest that this says more about you than it does about me.
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