Thursday, 9 June 2011

Ugly On The Inside?

You've spent ages getting ready. The hair, the clothes, the accessories. You're stood in front of a full length mirror and you know you've pulled out all the stops. The image staring back encapsulates every facet of what this world perceives as beauty. You've ticked every box, read the magazines and watched how the A-list do it. You can walk like a model, flash a smile that melts the heart. Your eyes glint spectacularly, deep and penetrating. You know that the job is done.
So why do you feel so ugly inside?
Don't misunderstand me. I'm not doing this to make you look or feel bad. And perhaps I'm being presumptuous. Maybe the outer glow radiates inward?
Only that's not how it works, is it? I mean, Is it?
Don't fight this. It's a losing battle. Deep down you know that when somebody has an inner beauty it radiates outward. More than that, it warms those lucky enough to be nearby. These people have a certain something, a radiance that you can't buy or barter or steal. We've all met them. You've got somebody in your head right now. Is that just a flicker of jealousy? If you're still reading this; If I haven't alienated you yet then you're probably wondering what my point is? It's crushingly simple. It's almost a cliche. What I'm trying to say is that there are some things that can only be fixed from the inside out. No amount of window dressing is going to make up for being ugly on the inside. And by the way I'm only using the female image because it's the one we typically associate with conventional beauty. The rule applies to men too; perhaps even more so. I'm fighting my darker nature most days; the man I want to be is always so far beyond my grasp. I'm ugly in a whole lot of ways. My mind can be a bleak and uncharitable place; I'm so quick to judge and easily inclined to condemn. What the hell do I do about that? Well I guess I start by admitting my failings, only not out of some pitiful self loathing. No, I'd rather use my shortcomings as a means of motivation. Perhaps that's something we can all do? You see, what we are now isn't always what we have to be. We can change. If  we want to. So what's it to be? What do you want to be? I'm guessing that there's so much more in you, so much untapped potential. Do you really want to just let it grow stagnant inside or are you ready to stir the pot?

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