Did you know that the world is going to end this Saturday? Again. Apparently an event known as the Rapture is due to take place, which is when all good Christians are taken into heaven, leaving the rest of us to await a further series of events known as the End Of Days. It's being taking rather seriously in some quarters, with some of the devout paying huge amounts of money for billboard posters warning Hell bound sinners to repent or face the wrath of an angry God. In a brilliant stroke of entrepreneurial quick thinking, some companies are even offering a pet care service in the aftermath of this glorious event. You see, Dogs and Cats aren't eligible for eternal salvation, but fear not; for a small fee they will be cared for by those of us left behind. For an update on the latest news you should treat yourself to a visit to the Rapture Ready website. It's something else. It even has what's called a Rapture index, informing the true believer how close they are to that blessed day. Problem is, that particular cult doesn't think the Rapture is scheduled for this Saturday. One can but wonder whether the heavenly broadband is playing up in that particular region of the Bible Belt.
Anyway, I do hope I have delivered the news of your impending doom with a cheery smile. It's not too late, you know. Perhaps if you sacrificed a goat the man upstairs might give you a wildcard pass?