Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Love, Sex & B&Q
No obvious connection? You might be surprised. Ok lads, let's share a trade secret with the opposite gender.But first, a caveat. If you're a guy, and sexually active, there's a fair chance you have faced the classic dilemma; to peak or not to peak. We've all been there; the passions are aflame, both parties in top gear, and it starts to become a challenge to regain one's self control. Now if you're like me, sexuality is about giving, about meeting the needs and desires of your partner, and encouraging the fullest possible expression of their sexuality. Now call me old fashioned, but this is typically best achieved when the landing gear is on full alert. Which means, you guessed it, sometimes just hanging on in there until one's partner has hit those heights. Now girls, this isn't easy, and sometimes certain strategies must be deployed. You're not going to like this, but we might have to stop thinking about sex itself in order to calm ourselves down. There. I've said it. Only it's worse than that. Having spoken to other lads about this, what's clear is that we often need to think about the least sexual thing we can, albeit for a brief time just to make sure we don't spoil the party. Hence the reference to B&Q. B&Q isn't very sexy, unless you get your kicks from wallpaper, plumbing accessories, and those dulux colour cards. But B&Q might well have meant the difference between sexual ecstasy and that slightly deflated sense that comes from not quite reaching your peak. So don't be too hard on us. We're doing it because we want to please you. And it won't always be B&Q. Anything can potentially suffice. Pound-land, Cliff Richard, Janet Street Porter. The list is endless. Trust me.