Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Big bottoms - an etiquette guide

Do you have have a large posterior? Is your backside the size of a small African nation? Could a family of four erect a tent and camp on its mass leaving room to park a caravan and Range Rover?

If yes, please can I make the following polite request. Please be aware of people trying to pass. Have you any idea how difficult it is trying to circumnavigate an enormous bottom in the average supermarket aisle, or shop, or shopping centre? The view beyond is almost always obscured, and worse, you always travel in pairs! Two great mounds of flesh, rippling and wobbling are near impossible to get around.

Your lifestyle is your own business. You can surround yourself with food, bath in baked beans, and let your eating habits spiral wildly out of control. Frankly the money you spend may help reduce the budget deficit, in which case thanks. Just please, please, show some consideration for other pedestrians.

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